Today being Mother's Day has been a hard day. I should be looking forward to holding our baby, not burying him. He was born this morning and I am relieved to have been able to hold our baby however little, and I think that it will help to have the tree to remember this pregnancy by. We bought a gorgeous yellow rose bush and planted it in the garden today which was really helpful. It was good to go to church this morning and face people and face lots of children. Our Godchildren had made us a card and gave me flowers for Mother's Day which was just so lovely. Time will help, and God will heal us, but we are overjoyed to have the hope that God has called our baby home to Heaven even if it means that he is not with us. Physically I am exhausted, feeling sick and still coping with the after effects of the miscarriage. Emotionally I am in shock but reality is sinking in today. I keep bursting into uncontrollable sobbing. It is a huge relief to know that I don't have to go to work for a week so that I can give myself time to grieve and physically recover. I feel frightened that I have to go back to square one again with my arthritis getting steadily worse.