Ah so the pains in my stomach that I'd hoped were implantation pains turned out not to be and I am back to square one again in my cycle. It's fine, I'm not devastated because I have confidence that this pregnancy, if it is meant to happen, will happen in it's own good timing and I have no control over that. I trust in the God of the Bible who shows me that His timing and plans for me are just so so much better than anything I can come up with! Honestly, if the world worked on my timings and plans, it would be a total disaster! So I guess I don't feel "performance pressure" which is a relief.
However, the consequence of being back to the beginning of my cycle does mean that I have another 4 weeks or so of the JIA symptoms (I am really hoping that if I get pregnant, I will go into remission) to manage. Honestly though, I've done over a decade of managing with it...what's 4 weeks? Off medication?...All I can say is that I'll have a go. I am determined and I trust that life will not always be like this.