26.6.12

This is not for the faint hearted

So at some point in life until fairly recently I figured that getting pregnant would be easy... Surely? You hear all about people who got pregnant the first time they tried.

Incorrect...

I hadn't realised that I was going to have to spend 6 months off medication before we could even consider trying to fall pregnant.

I thought that I wouldn't be too bad off the medication and would get pregnant first time we tried.

Incorrect...

Off the medication is like trying to move a juggernaut along by blowing on it really hard.  Fortunately it only took a few months to get pregnant with George and I fell pregnant the first month with this baby.

I was under the impression that I would go into remission when I was pregnant.

Incorrect...

So far anyway. Into remission? Into full on serious flare up certainly but remission? Remission seems as far away as the East is from the West at the moment. I came close to phoning the hospital one night and asking to be admitted as the pain was out of control. I lie in bed at night tossing and turning in agony in all my joints because any position is just so painful. Now with the added complication of being pregnant nearly in the second trimester when you are meant to only be lying on your left side... What does my left hip think to this? Yeah not happy! I have chronic bursitis in my left hip due to an accident a few years ago and to lie on it even with a memory foam mattress topper is not a long term option. When I say long term, I mean longer than 10 minutes.

But in all this, I have a loving Heavenly Father who knows exactly what is best for me and I trust Him with His perfect plans for me. Hardship is not necessarily a bad thing, it produces perseverance.

This is from the book called Romans in the Bible which explains why I have this hope that suffering is not necessarily a bad thing (chapter 5 from verse 3).

Not only so, but we can also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

And that is the reason for my hope.

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