I have felt my body being more out of control than ever in the past week or so. I can not begin to describe how difficult it has been to keep going on our baby journey rather than return to the medication in order to control the pain, fatigue and inflammation. Before I came off my medication I really felt that I was strong enough to do this and knew that it would be hard, but never imagined that it would be just how hard it is. However bad this is I know that in my heart I won't go back to the medication but it is making me question how we could ever have more than one child. We will cross that bridge when it comes to it!
I have found distraction very helpful in the darkest moments and we've been prematurely talking about baby names and how we would like the nursery. I think in a normal situation without dealing with a severe chronic illness without medication we would never be planning so far ahead but to keep me focused, it certainly is helping.