15.1.12

To ovulate or to not ovulate....that is not a question.

Surely by now my body can not come up with any other tricks to tease me with.  It seems that recently it does not want to ovulate at the allotted time.  Seriously? Can I faff about anymore here?  So the battle plan has commenced....no egg is going to escape this month whenever it decides to dawdle along merrily surveying the scenery and humming a happy tune.  Damn it, I will be waiting and will catch it - there will be no escape!  I am armed and dangerous, wielding two fertility monitors in different guises and employing the husband to do his side of the deal.  It has turned into an episode of Dad's Army - all best intentions but not quite getting the job done! Perhaps this will be the month that we will succeed?  If not, never mind, we will try again.

Emotionally I am feeling more like thin glass than rubber ready to bounce back.  JIA really is a disease to do battle with and it seems at the moment that it is winning in terms of pain and increasing disability.  I look and feel exhausted, and each joint reminds me of it's clutch over me every minute of the day by the hot, red swelling and exceptional pain.  I have been running on reserves for a good while now and although have considered explaining to my boss the reasons for me looking and feeling so terrible, I haven't actually told him yet......due to....an inspection.  Typical hey! Just as I am feeling like I can not take on anymore, we get a phone call at work to say that we are being inspected this week so my weekend has gone out the window and I have had to spend hours and hours in work late at night, all day yesterday until late and some of today.  I think adrenaline is keeping me going right now but boy do I feel awful and close to tears.

Let's hope the week after is less eventful....unless I get a positive pregnancy test!  That is the only out of the ordinary event allowed!

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