The life I used to have

Occasionally I am reminded about my old life, and today I remembered.

The old life stopped one Autumnal day twelve years ago, when the sun was streaming through the windows in the doctor's waiting room.  I went into the consultation room and minutes later, I was told that I had a textbook case of Rheumatic Fever and was rushed off to the hospital for blood tests straight away.  Soon after, I saw a consultant who diagnosed Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.  In a split second, my future had turned from dancing, playing sport, A-Levels, music and going out with my friends to chemotherapy drugs, crutches, steroids, hospitals and incredible amounts of pain.  Amazingly I managed to struggle through my A-Levels and get the good grades I needed to go to University but it was not without difficulty.  The school I went to was full of stairs.  I had to carry all my files and books whilst on crutches which was no mean feat.  I remember my classes and being in lots of pain - trying to sit for long periods of time with hips, knees, ankles and feet that were screaming at me; trying to write copious notes with shoulders, elbows, wrists and hands that refused to do what I asked; trying to manage the fatigue having slept so badly every night previously...all whilst I tried to appear as though I was managing with a smile on my face.  During a careers session at school, I was told that I would not be able to do my chosen career let alone go to the top university I had apply to....as you may have picked up already from my blog, I am pretty tenacious and determined - and having been doing my chosen career having been to the university I wanted to go to. I would love so much to be able to rely on my body to do what I want it to do - play sport again, go running, take dance lessons again.  I can't do this, but what I do have is a hope that one day I will have a new body in Heaven, and a God I can put my trust in who can give me so much more than my wildest dreams.

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